


Ensign Soufflé Girl

by SunflowerSupreme



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3513017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSupreme/pseuds/SunflowerSupreme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ensign Clara Oswald challenges the Russian origin of Soufflés. Chekov is infuriated, and Sulu makes the mistake of getting in the middle of it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ensign Soufflé Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this is silly. But I was thinking, that because Clara was sent all over time and space, why couldn't she end up on the Enterprise? Who's to say the Doctor's timeline didn't somehow cross the Enterprise's? And yes Clara would probably know the real origin of Soufflés, but for this she doesn't.

Everyone knew the replicators could produce strange food, any food for that matter. And six months into a five year voyage, the crew of the Starship Enterprise were willing to try nearly anything. There was however, one rule. It had look at least look edible.

"Vwhat is zat?" Chekov asked curiously, looking at the rather curious and lumpy item in front of his fellow Ensign. He hoped it wasn't food. Moreover he hoped he wasn't expected to eat it.

"This," she said proudly, in a thick British accent, "Is a soufflé." She took a huge bite out of it, smiling happily.

"Zoufflé? Zat is not a zoufflé." Chekov snapped.

After swallowing, and hiding a wince at the taste, she said, "Yes it is! How would you know anyway?"

He scowled at her, knowing that he would win this argument. After all, he knew everything about Russia, "Zoufflés are from Russia."

"No they aren't!" She snapped.

"Yes zey are!"

"Of course they aren't. They're British!" Neither Ensign noticed that the room had fallen suspiciously silent, except for a few giggles and the sound of fingers tapping on PADDs as everyone tried to discover the real origin of the food.

"Russian!" Chekov spat.

"British!" She argued.

"Russian!"

"Bri-" she was cut off by a slamming sound, as Sulu smacked his own PADD onto the table in front of her.

"What are you doing?" He demanded. It was only then that Clara and Chekov noticed that many of the occupants of the room, the Captain and First Officer included, were now watching them.

"Arguing." Chekov replied.

"I can see that." Sulu replied.

"About Zoufflés."

"He thinks Soufflés are Russian, and I think they're British."

"Soufflés aren't British," Sulu replied, the brunette Ensign looked angered, "Or Russian." This time Chekov was angered, "They're French." Seeing that Sulu had fixed the problem and prevented injuries, conversations began again.

"French?" The Girl asked. "What do you mean French?"

"That's where they're from. France." The two Ensigns first looked at Sulu with evident anger in their eyes, then they looked at each other.

"I told you et vus not Brittish!" Chekov said.

"Well at least I knew it wasn't Russian! Nothing comes from Russia!" Once again the room fell silent. The female Ensign seemed to realize she had said something wrong, and fled from the room.

Sulu grabbed Chekov's arm and forced him to stay behind. "Mr. Chekov stop!" He ordered. "She isn't worth it! Eat!"

Xxxxxxxx

Barely two months after their argument, Ensign Oswald was killed on an away mission, protecting a strange man in a long scarf. And barely one year later, Chekov swore he saw her ghost. She was in a bar, he claimed, talking nonsense with a man in a bow tie.

Sulu became convinced that stress had finally gotten to his friend and drug him to the Sickbay. Doctor McCoy promised the Captain and Helmsman there was no brain damage to their young Russian Ensign, and Chekov didn't understand what he meant when he said, "After all Jim, we all know he's either Delusional or a Compulsive Liar. He thinks tricorders are Russian."

Chekov was completely confused, because everyone knows tricorders are Russian. Unfortunately, Sulu refused to insist to the Captain that it was McCoy who needed his head checked, and overtime the incident was quietly dropped.


End file.
